Or, if you can't relate, at least share the list with your friends so I have a better chance of finding my weird-twin, haha.
So, without further adieu, here's my list. I hope you guys enjoy while I cringe with every letter I type.
1. Whenever a Luck and Chance game is on TV, I have the WEIRDEST rituals.
This especially goes for the Wheel of Fortune, or the Price or Right. Or even worse - Deal or No Deal. Oh gad. Do you guys remember that show from a few years ago (the one where they have to open a bunch of suitcases? Those contestants have the WORST luck, and every time they miss out on the one million dollars my knees start to buckle).
Every time the wheel spins, or a suitcase is about to open, or whatever, I usually do something that I think will help the person win. Like, say, make sure every time a wheel spins my feet aren't touching the ground. Or, when a suitcase is about to open, I make sure to breathe in three times and clap my hands. Or close my eyes and my ears and count to ten.
I don't know why I do this! For some reason I have always been like that. It's even worse when I'm the contestant. I'll be praying to God when the day comes I'm on TV spinning the Wheel of Fortune.
2. I absolutely hate celery
I can eat brussel sprouts, bitter melon, broccoli, and whatever disgusting vegetable that people usually hate. But celery? YUCK.The first and last time I've ever had celery was in 5th grade when my teacher was showing us how to make "Ants on a Log" - peanut butter on a celery stick sprinkled with raisins. Not only is the name of the food slightly unappetizing, but biting into the creation felt like I just ate a muddy boot dipped in foot juice. I spit it out and never dared to put any celery-like food in my mouth again.
3. I have the "Girliest" Handwriting.
By girliest, I mean neat. All through middle school and some years of high school I was always teased by other boys saying I had "girly" handwriting, which translated to "neat" handwriting. I was never offended by this - at least not after I knew what they were trying to say - because I took pride in how neat and clean my work looked. I couldn't stand seeing my classmates' papers, and how their writing was completely indecipherable and looked more like chicken scratch than anything.
4. My pee goes in two and three directions.
Yup. Things just got personal.
Whenever I need to take a leak, for some reason my pee doesn't flow in a straight line. Rather, it's like a person opening a bottle of carbonated coke after they shook it. My parents would ALWAYS complain to me saying "Oh my god, Jay! Don't you know how to aim? There's pee all over the toilet seat!" I would tell them the deed is impossible, but they didn't understand.Now in the morning I sit down like a girl (sadness...I know), and in public places I use the urinal instead of the toilets. And YES, I'm that guy who breaks all social bathroom norms and takes the middle urinal. I find pleasure in watching other guys squirm in awkwardness as they try to hide their pee-pees. Stop worrying - I'm not looking!
4. My ass is huge
Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but my butt is abnormally large in comparison to other 19-year-old guys. When I look in the mirror, my butt is sticking out with all it's junky glory. It's not that I'm fat, either, but EVERYONE in my family is like that. Even the skinniest siblings in my family have some badonkadonk going on.
However, after doing research I found that some girls like a guy who has a finely shaped ass. Either that, or rapists. Whatever. I'm still loved by someone either way :3
5. I have a lazy eye
Or, in other words, one eye is bigger than the other. I don't know who in heaven decided that my body should be disproportional, but whoever it is, I want a refund for one proper eye, please!It's honestly not that noticeable unless you take off my glasses and look straight at me. But when you notice it, that's ALL you'll ever see when you look at my face. Perhaps it's because I'm Asian and, for some reason, the slanted-eyes gene decided to be half-ass and not finish with my whole face.
Screw you, genetics!
6. My hair is thick like horse's hair, and grows like it's on steroids
Every time I go to the barber, they always, always complain that after they cut my hair they have to replace their scissors xD. My hair is extremely thick. You can take just one strand of my hair and use it as a bookmark. In addition, it grows so freaking fast I can't even deal with it sometimes. My hair manages to grow long enough to cover my eyes every 3 to 4 months!Maybe I should starting donate it. I bet I would have made at least a hundred or two decent black-colored wigs by now.
7. I can never maintain eye contact with a person I just met for more than 3 seconds
And I'm not even exaggerating, either. For some reason, I find staring into someone's eyes so unnerving, like I'm trying to see into their soul. Meeting someone is so hard for me because their first impression is "Oh god, this guy doesn't like me" or "This guy is stuck up!" or "This guy is too weird."
No, dear person, I do like you, I'm not stuck up, and...well..I am weird but that's besides the point! I just can't make eye contact with people and I don't know why. I even try to force it sometimes, but my body's reaction is always to look away. =/
8. I think the Sun is a Hot Ball of Crap
I don't like the sun. I don't like heat. I don't like fire.
I hate sweating and feeling hot. Every time I do, I get so agitated I literally snap at anyone who approaches me. I prefer the winter because it's dark and comfortable. But summer? Oh god. You'll find turtling under the air conditioner until September.
9. I have a very dark sense of humor
That's what my friends tell me. They say my humor is kind of dark and crude, but at the same time not insulting and kind of awkward. I have NO idea what they mean since I NEVER mean to be intentionally hilarious. I can't even think of an example because it's just not something I observe about myself.
Ask my friends, I guess. They know what I'm talking about.
10. I have 4 Operating Calendars in my Bedroom
I like to think of myself as a complete perfectionist when it comes to organizing things. I like to know exactly what I need to do for a day. I can't ever have a day where I'm just not doing anything - it drives me absolutely nuts!The calendars in my bedroom are all for different things. One calendar is a general calendar of the whole year so if I, dare I say it, forget the date I could always check it. The second calendar is my exercise calendar so I don't ever forget what workout I'm suppose to do. The third calendar is my college calendar so I can keep track of any essays and whatnot. And the last calendar is my Blog calendar so I can always remind myself to blog every day. So far, it has worked!
I hope you enjoyed the list!
It took me a good hour and a half to think of all the possible things that are weird about me. I hope you guys enjoyed the list and share it with your friends! And remember, if you can relate, please make sure you mention it. Especially the pee thing - it hurts my self-esteem a little.
Forever Weirding,
Jay
Eat your Fried Rice.
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